A short children's story by Rob Towner
Old man Jeremy Dinkin was one of the happiest old people who ever lived. You want to know why? It’s because he had fairy floss for brains. It all happened twenty years ago during an operation on his head. His brain fell out on to the floor and the doctor accidentally mistook it for the big ball of pink fairy floss he was eating at the time. It was an easy mistake to make. You or I would have probably done the same.
Anyways, the doctor zipped his head back up with the fairy floss inside and continued eating Jeremy’s brains instead none the wiser. Jeremy was still alive and could still breathe and stuff, but now he was a little different.
He used to be such a respected businessman, wearing a suit and tie to work every day. Now he was confined to the walls of a hospital that specialised in treating people with his condition. A lot of people have fairy floss for brains you know. All Jeremy could do nowadays was dance around his hospital ward wearing a thin paper-white robe and slippery slippers. His flowing white hair sparkled under the flickering fluorescent lights above his bed. Every now and then bits of fairy floss would fly out his ears and fall to the ground like floating feathers. Dancing always made Jeremy smile.
But Jeremy hadn’t danced for weeks now. He wasn’t allowed to anymore. Evil Nurse Amy was running the night shift at the hospital and she was stricter than a school principal! Gripping a cricket bat in one hand, she waddled her big fat butt down the hallways like a penguin, ready to knock anyone out if they did anything out of line. Her sharp eyes glared from underneath a black, short-cut fringe of hair hoping to catch anyone doing anything remotely mischievous.
One quiet night, whilst Evil Nurse Amy sat alone in her office eating cake that was made for the patients, the phone rang in her ward. She hated being disturbed during cake time (which was most times). Evil Nurse Amy looked at the buzzing phone with anger and eventually decided to pick it up.
“I demand to know who this is. How dare you interrupt my precious cake time? Who do you think you are?” Cake crumbs flew all over the place.
“I am a ghost Amy. I have been following you for years. I have watched you be rude to people for far too long. It’s time for you to be punished. You are in big trouble.”
Evil Nurse Amy didn’t believe any of this nonsense. Not for one minute. She slammed the phone down and went back to eating cake when all of a sudden the hospital beds started to move around the room and a spirit-like wooing sound swept through the quiet, poorly lit ward.
“Aaaaaggghhh!” Evil Nurse Amy freaked out and waddled her fat butt out of there as fast as she could. She loved being horrible to patients, but no job was worth keeping if it meant having to deal with ghosts.
As soon as she left a loud cheer erupted in the room, but it didn’t come from the patients. They were all asleep. It was actually coming from a large group of ants that lived in the walls of the hospital. They had all united as one to get Evil Nurse Amy out of their hospital. It was the ants that had made the phone call and the ants that had moved the beds around. It was the ants who made the spirit-like wooing sound by all screaming with one voice at the same time. They didn’t care that Evil Nurse Amy was an evil person. That didn’t bother them at all. They just wanted her gone so that Jeremy could dance again so they could eat the sweet fairy floss that flew out of his ears every time he did so.
Now, old man Jeremy Dinkin dances at night all the time and fairy floss goes flying everywhere for all the ants to enjoy. The new night nurse even dances with him too. I think they might be in love or something... Gross.
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